Are you still confusing value-comparison and personal compatibility when it comes to romance?

Every day there are tasks needing time, energy and resources. Countless seconds that went, determined by the very real need to secure partnering-capacity: Fostering time spent together, intimacy, co-creating value and for the ease of walking through life - together. With a bit of consideration, the cost of years of repeating mismatches and trying, can be drastically reduced.

You are essential to any relation you endeavor in

While romance supposedly is a thing of mutual gain, if misused to satisfy personal dependencies, it may leave you dependent, clinging and desiring control. Each of which will damage each involved individual. This leads to a key-inquiry: What do you require to be a romantic partner?

• What do you tell yourself you need to exist, live and thrive? What of this do you actually need? What is required of you to access monetary resources?
• What is intolerable to you, and what must continue, without which the romance will fail anyway? What constraints does that impose on you?
• Which kinds of pre-existing reliability do you need to live up to, failing which might lead to romantic failure?

This unveils costs-to-life, and thus what you impose of requirements.

Compatibility

Each life shares elements with other lives - language, needs, professional pursuits, network-layers or past. As chemicals react, combined “life-properties” results in various outcomes - neutral, inconvenient or convenient to factors. Interest-parties that may present resistance, conflict or support relevant to in-factor. Some relations may be desired or tempting, yet of mutual disinterest (leaves a mess) - others inconvenient while desirable. The latter means a risk of the relation dying after a short time, leaving a deeply embedded attachment that decays slowly; causing loss of compatibility, possibilities for lasting intimacy and costly time-occupancy without a return. Trial and error may be tempting, but the losses can .. complicate things.

Another factor are the layers of familiarity between individuals in the potential romantic pursuit. Closer related, whether bio-ancestrally, culturally or similar, means greater risks of weakening, conflicts and decline upon breakage. While these complications can be avoided up ahead, the dependency on avoiding that, can cause the very breakage.

Any being thus is bound by the need for compatibility, for depth, quality, joy of the experience and results. Before you proceed: Approach the process with superficiality, and superficial results is what will result. If approached based on culture, family, group-belonging, academia or country - that will similarly determine the outcome. Sounds like no issue? Stop here and first eliminate self-exploitation. A final warning: You may discover that certain elements hinder you: Objects, living beings and approaches to living. While you may wish to part responsibly with ideologies, subscriptions, habits and the likes - don’t go killing the cat ‘cause it is “in the way”. Like the two other issues, if you’re responsible for a life, or to avoid harmful impact, overriding that will degrade the endeavor.

Inquiry for Manifesting Depth-Relationships

As you go through the following, you may notice how certain things damage personal capacity for romantic relations. Amongst these are objects, other living beings and approaches to living - such as ideologies - amongst other subscriptions. The process may even assist you to part responsibly with what is exploitative of you. Note that this doesn’t mean to go killing the cat ‘cause its in the way; if you adopted or produced it, its a responsibility to care for it. The classic saying “less is more” proves true with the following.

The following is an inquiry that will begin the process of manifesting deep romantic experiences. A heads-up; if you’re superficial about what you think you need, this may yield superficial outcomes. Similarly, if the answers you give are based on cultural, family-, group-belonging or other ties cultures, the outcome will be determined by that. That will inherently degrade the relationship-quality. There is a space for that later in the inquiry (“Investor-relations”).

Are you ready?

Similarity

There are similarities with anyone and everything; some of these makes it easier to be together.

• Which similarities that are absolutely required?

• How about similarities that may be beneficial?

Reactions

In chemistry, there is a practice of combining chemicals. Of course it is vital to note that the benefit therein, depends a bit on whom you ask. However say you and the potential partner are like two chemicals;

• What differences may complement, and shape an outcome that is mutually beneficial between you?

• Which differences are undesirable? Can the risk of undesirable outcomes be reduced?

Romantic needs

Already at this point, the potential partnering-range would likely be drastically decreased in scope. The total human population, half of which may be of the gender-of-interest, amongst whom some % is within a compatible age-range. Divide that further, separating out the % that is outside a range of familiarity (i.e. drastically increasing complications - past a point of real viability; while some invest-able scenarios may exist). Eliminate out of that fraction the lack of compatibility, at the level of similarities and differences.

Amongst these, there are likely patterns in the potential partnerships. Requirements common to the different potential relations likely exist, while these may vary.

• Are there these requirements? If so, what are they?

• Does any of these coincide with what you need anyway?

• Are any of these easier to fulfill than others, for you?

• Does any of these requirements become easier with change, learning or the likes - if so, what is the cost for you personally to do that? Are these costs worth the while?

Note, if you’re looking for a opportunity to procure value: What drains the compatibility-rate with humans already there?

Costs

This part is vital, yet something you might not like the taste of. Failing this part of the inquiry, increases the risk of undesirable outcomes.

To begin with, it helps to consider the impact on you, romantic partners and the relationship. The product of involved costs, can matter a lot for whether the romantic endeavor is love-based or not. Some relationships, greater gain or not, simply require greater expenditures than others. This increases the burden to fulfill these needs.

Some of the capacity-securing methods, can block or damage relations - eliminating costs that do not need to be, can increase likelihood of finding a desirable partner.

In this context, costs more-so than currency-based, refers to losses; to you, harm to others - living or even imprints of the deceased.

• What are these costs?

• What will you do to manage risks that may arise? Some may be justified

• Who may be unhappy, or dissatisfied - whose investments will fail?

• What relational patterns seem decent investments?

Investor-relations

Regardless of the partnership you enter into, there will be those that benefit (in less .. desirable ways as well; like you breaking down per convenience). These “investor-relations”, as you may notice, can be .. complicated - especially if trying to determine who you can and cannot be with, or trying to break the relationship apart instead of sustain it. Well-invested inconvenience, similarly can derive support - if procuring desired value. Similarly, procured value will be inconvenient to others - and can lead to demand for the relationship to end. I.e. beneficiaries can be indirect.

Say it benefits a collective context, its alliances may too benefit subsequently - this can shape a determining element

What this can mean, is that some relationships may be more-so viable than others. It can also mean, that better partnering opportunities exist - for instance avoiding loss of partnering-capacity.

Overall, the question is: “What demand will find pathway, through such a partnership?”

• What kinds of yield would result of such a partnership? What could result?

As inspiration, this could be the growth of capacity to partner without reproducing. Amongst the variety of potential gains; co-processing, supporting performance-states, fact-checking and information-distribution, house-holdering, lowered strain or resource consumption by shared expenses, sustaining continuation such as of teachings, wisdom or growth of ethical surplus - even desirable connection shaping. Of the less commonly considered ones could be flow of qi/prana/energy, patterns shaped or reinforced and so on..

• What natural stockholder-relations may exist?

• Which changes, that relationships within these categories will bring about, are desirable?

Basic Pre-emptives

You come with your baggage, and a potential partner too will be encumbered by life. Add to that fore-mentioned complications with impact, costs and tendencies of human lives to self-violate: Each things that can cause you to lose personal capacity for lasting partnering, cause relations to be unsustainable or cause costs to be excessive.

Trying to ignore this and pressing on (be it for lust, natal-cravings, desires for wealth, misuse of romance for political ties or the likes) - can lead to an immense amount of harm. You who read this, likely are within the segment of the world-population that administrate the greater capital resources (moreso than the vast majority).

This means that what you do, extends to impact a greater number of lives. The choices, decisions, approach to life and partnering-choices, literally will be impacting the health, livelihood and safety of many - across the globe. While this may make partnering-choices more-so vital, and the freedom to choose a partner a worthwhile investment, as you may be unconsciously aware of; it means being wary is wise.

Overriding this, regardless of how that might occur (be it by lust, cravings for natal, desires for other things such as wealth, misuse of romance for political etc.) may as such lead to quite a lot of harm - which would be likely to impact the relationship. That said, regardless, there will be struggles.

• What are likely struggles that may arise?

• How will you go about these struggles?

• Can you avoid exploitative dynamics pre-emptively? By what means?
  This could include the nasty misuse of external/employed mediation, that actually is misuse of collective unawareness under guise.

• In what ways are you intending to employ methods of “purifying” that will “ease the spirits”?

Maximizing the gain

Make the most of what time and energy you put into going through the inquiry; all it takes is a bit of extra effort

• What are the means available to you, that would lower complications to enjoying romantic partnering?

• Did you notice any worthwhile efforts along the way?

• Does the awareness you developed, require anything of you this day?

• Can you do something to find a soul-mate the next fifteen minutes?

Do consider hiring me to assist you with the technicalities of life, if you enjoyed this guided inquiry.