Are you making the most of how you’re naturally connected to others?
Every day, in every single life, there are tasks needing time, energy and resources. How these are approached, is vital to performance. Moreover, these are countless seconds, that are continuously determined by needs around how the life connects with others.
In terms of romance, this means ensuring that time spent together is viable, that there is real desirable intimacy and that goals are met (say, paying rent).
With just a bit of consideration, it is easy to reduce the cost of years spent repeating mismatches and trying to make it work. Think about this; if even one person does that, what’s the cost-reduction in money, hours and emotional burden?
If you’re up for the task, grab a pen and paper or open an editor.
A key to any relation is the self
Romance supposedly is a thing of mutual gain. If misused to satisfy personal dependencies, it may leave you dependent, clinging and desiring control. That will be destructive to any relationship. What do you require to be a romantic partner?
- What do you tell yourself you need to exist, live and thrive?
What of this do you actually need?
What is required of you to access monetary resources? - What is intolerable to you?
What must continue, without which the romance will fail anyway?
What constraints does that impose on you? - What are the pre-existing ways you need to be reliable - the things you gotta live up to?
Which of these, if you fail them, might lead to romantic failure?
This inquiry unveils a few costs to the life. Being aware of that, makes it clear what you impose of requirements upon a partnership.
Compatibility
Each life shares elements with other lives. Examples would be language, needs, professional pursuits, network-layers or past.
As chemicals react, when “life-properties” combine, these can result in a variety of outcomes. These can be neutral, inconvenient or convenient to factors. These interest-parties that may present resistance, conflict or support relevant to in-factor. Some relations may be desired or tempting, yet of mutual disinterest (leaves a mess) - others inconvenient while desirable.
In the latter care, this leads to a heightened risk of the relation dying after a short time. When that happens, it leaves a deeply embedded attachment that only very slowly decays. This means a loss of compatibility, possibilities for lasting intimacy and costly time-occupancy without a return. Trial and error may be tempting, but a very real loss is a byproduct; opportunity-cost.
Another layer to factor in are the layers of familiarity between the individuals. Whether bio-ancestrally, culturally or by shared interests, the closer related these are, the greater the risk of network-fractures, conflicts and subsequent weakening or attempts at imposing control upon breakage. That very risk can cause the breakage. The potential loss and fear subsequently increases resistance, and avoiding the complications or ensuring quality connections, can ease the pursuit.
When looking beyond the romantic layer, this is present in all kinds of intimacy. Any being, in it being a node in the complex web that all lives exist in, is bound by the need for compatibility, depth, quality and joy of experience. How any one life approaches this, creates habitual pathways, rationalization-pressure, value and the like.
Process-compatibility
Going through the inquiry, writing out answers based on cultural interest, family-systems, genetic strains, group-belonging, continuation of heritage, academic interest-bubbles, country or corporate interests - that will determine the outcome as well. Approach the process with superficiality, and superficial will be the results.
Sounds like no issue?
Stop here and first eliminate self-exploitation.
Just about anyone should feel a red flag or two.
Moreover, don’t go killing the cat ‘cause it’s in the way’. If you’re responsible for a life, or to avoid harmful impact, ignoring that will degrade the endeavor. During the process, certain elements may be observed to damage personal capacity for romantic relations. Subscriptions, habits, ideologies and the like. Consider that the means will impact the end, and the process may even assist to responsibly part with what is long overdue.
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Inquiry for Manifesting Depth-Relationships
The following is an inquiry that will reduce the risk of wasting time.
And, no guarantees, it may just increase the likelihood of viable deep romantic experiences.
Ready?
Any two lives share similarity in a variety of ways
Some of these make it easier to be together Some may complicated it.
- Which similarities do you require, and which may be beneficial?
Say there are two chemicals
Depending on who you ask, there may be benefit in the reactions as two come into contact.
- What differences are likely to complement towards mutual benefit?
- What differences are undesirable?
- What would it take to reduce risks of what is considered undesirable?
Costs
Say there are requirements for a romantic relation to be solvent, desirably lasting and viable. Consider the impact on you, a romantic partner and the relationship to begin with:
- Do these requirements exist? If so, what are they?
- Does any of these needs coincide with what you need anyway? Are any easier to fulfill?
- What costs are imposed on you to fulfill these requirements?
- What would you need change to be able to carry the costs? Are these worth the while?
The product of involved costs, can matter a lot for whether the romantic endeavor is love-based or not. If you do the math, at this point, lack of compatibility, closeness, personal requirements and the like would already have reduced the number of potential partners drastically.
- Consider gender-preferences
- Consider what’s required in terms of age-gap, to avoid loveless exploitation.
Think approximation, and what greater age-gap would require moreso.
The world is fairly big, and closer ties can complicate things.
- Do you have any past engagements that may be worth avoiding the proximity of?
- What distance do you need familiarity-wise? Consider genetic ancestry, shared contexts and the like.
If you’re searching for opportunities to contribute value: What drains the compatibility-rates of humans already there?
This part is vital. You might not like the taste of it though. However failing this part of the inquiry, drastically increases the risk of undesirable outcomes.
Some relationship, greater gain or not, simply involve greater expenditures. This increases the burden to fulfill these needs. The methods involved in doing so, can block or damage relations, and drain kinds of surplus that weigh extra on the romantic engagement.
Eliminating costs that do not need be, can increase the likelihood of finding a desirable partner in a variety of ways. In this context, costs, more than the currency-based kinds, means losses incurred to self, to others - living or even imprints of the deceased (see the work Channeling Demand to comprehend that).
- Having narrowed down the options, what are some of these costs (if any such exist)?
- What will you do to manage the risks that may arise? Some may be well-justified
- Who may be unhappy, or dissatisfied? Who may experience a loss or setback as a result?
- Are there any relational patterns that seem desirable to you?
- How would you reduce needless .. cost-externalization?
Investor-relations
Regardless of the kind of romantic engagement, there will be those that benefit. This include those that do so in .. less desirable ways, such as a life breaking. At times, beneficiaries can be indirect.
Relations to the various potential beneficiaries can be .. complicated. Especially if these attempt determine relational life of the romantically engaged. The cost imposed by attempts at breaking apart a relationship, is something to factor in.
Well-invested inconvenience similarly can derive support. Inversely, procured value can be inconvenient and drive a demand for the relationship to end; again a cost to factor in. It may cause friction, conflict and can lead to relational breakdown, draining the economic viability of the romantic pursuit.
For instance, upon benefiting a collective context, alliances too may subsequently benefit. While that may invite support, it may also produce hostility, as a by-product of the negative impact incurred to those harmed by the collective context.
This means that some relationships may be more-so viable than others. What seems desirable, may lead to undesirable situations, deaths or loss of partnering-capacity.
Overall, the question is: “What demand will find pathway, through such a partnership?”
Going by what you noted in terms of costs, demographics, age, similarities and personal requirements…
- What kinds of yield would result of such a partnership? What could result?
As inspiration, this could be the growth of capacity to partner without reproducing. Amongst the variety of potential gains; co-processing, supporting performance-states, fact-checking and information-distribution, lowered strain or shared household-chores. Shared expenses, or sustained continuation of teachings, wisdom or growth of ethical surplus are other factors. Even connections in which there are some interest, taking shaping. Of less commonly considered layers could be the flow of qi/prana/energy.
- Who might be natural beneficiaries?
- What might be natural stockholder-like relations?
- Which changes are desirable, and how, that potential relationships may bring about?
Basic Pre-emptives
The romantically engaged each bring baggage, encumbered by life. At times its the future outlook, at times its things in the past. Add to that self-violative tendencies when unchanneled costs are involved. Each can lead to loss of capacity for lasting partnering, lower the likelihood that relations will last or cause costs to exceed limits such as personal death.
Ignoring it is very default, but is like running about in terrain with lots of cliffs and keeping the eyes closed hoping for the best; bumping into people here and there. The likelihood is that one or more will fall over an edge. The impact of any romantic engagement likely extend to a greater number of lives. For instance, those within the top 20% develop patterns, habits and the like that begin to shape engagements within the top 15% - accelerating the impact.
Choices, decisions and approaches to life impact the health, livelihood and safety for many across the globe. It may change the trust placed in social contexts, making the freedom to choose partnering an investment, that may or may not yield a return. This too may change the nature of the relation, while any pursuit or lack thereof involve struggles.
- What are struggles that may arise?
- How will you go about these struggles?
- Can you avoid exploitative dynamics preemptively? By what means?
Note that at times, nasty misuse of external mediation takes place.
It is predation that rely on collective unawareness, under guise of improvement. - In talking about costs, stockholder relations and the likes. In what ways do you intend to “ease the spirits”, or purify costs?
Finalizing
Maximizing the gain
So, having gone through this inquiry. Take the opportunity to maximize the gain; making the most of the time and energy you put into it.
- What are means you can employ, that will let you lower complications in romantic partnering?
- While going over these questions, did you notice any especially worthwhile efforts you could make?
- Does the awareness you developed, seem to require anything of you this day?
- Can you do something, to increase your prospects at finding a soul-mate within the next fifteen minutes?
This document is provided free of charge. I received the awareness myself from a small lightworker/healing business back in 2014 or so, reading a post about twinflames and soulmates. The idea planted, grew into awareness and as I gained therapeutic and coaching skill-sets, I developed this inquiry. The techniques employed are a mix between simple, lasting and cutting-edge - I can guarantee you wont find the unique blend anywhere else.
Without any explicit connection or guarantees, improved romantic endeavoring may be considered a kind of ethical practice. It lowers a variety of expenses for factors such as society, civilization and reduces unnecessary burden on farmed animal lives. Benefits may include improved social-, business- and interpersonal skills - very useful for garnering social capital. In working with any ethical growth - to get to the next level faster and safer - I developed and highly recommend the Ethical Spark Pack.